The Guardian newspaper in the UK recently ran a story about the possible reasons why women put up with domestic violence and stay with an abusive partner.

The article was written by Carole Jahme who uses the theories of evolutionary psychology to try and shine some light on the issue.

According to evolutionary psychology, women who stay in abusive relationships often do so because they learned to live with domestic violence when growing up. Carole argues that if this is so, women experiencing domestic violence today should leave the relationship (with their children) to prevent the same thing from happening to their family.

She goes on to recognise the difficulties involved in leaving however; for example, some women are too scared to leave because their partner has threatened them with dire consequences if they do so. In addition, there are practical considerations such as having somewhere to go and a source of income.

The article also suggests that the trauma of abuse can affect how women think and that they tend to employ short-term coping strategies, such as fleeing when violence erupts but returning when their partner has said sorry.

Evolutionary psychology has an interesting point to make about male jealousy too – which often goes hand-in-hand with domestic abuse – that it evolved as a way to dominate females and assure paternity.

Carole also mentions the tendency for victims to blame themselves and how feelings such as guilt, shame and uncertainty about the future can keep women trapped.

She also mentions the tendency of some victims to pity the perpetrator, especially if he blames factors such as being made unemployed or past relationships for his behaviour.

In conclusion, the article warns it is important to understand the many different reasons why women stay in abusive relationships – it isn’t fair or realistic to just expect them to leave. Instead, Carole encourages us not to judge, but to realise that women need professional help to take a step back and self-assess their particular situation.

What do you think? Please share your thoughts and opinions by leaving a comment below.

To read the Guardian newspaper article in full: Why do so many women put up with domestic violence?